Well, the lazy days of summer are officially over and after a few family holidays and lots of much-needed sunshine, the plan was to shift up a gear and forge full steam ahead into autumn/winter full of excitement and confidence to get stuck into all I have planned for the upcoming season. Lots of new things being built for the Company of Dreamers community, even more resources and up-close-and-personal value for my coaching clients, and a book launch to prepare for and execute! The reality though was far from what I expected…
Honestly? Since being back from our holidays, I’ve had more days than I‘d like where my energy has been low and my thoughts scattered. I’ve felt tired, unmotivated, and at times overwhelmed with a sense of fear and doubt about how I’m going to get everything done in time for all those deadlines that seem to be creeping ever closer.
And here’s the truth bomb…on the really tough days I’ve wondered whether it would really matter if I didn’t do any of it at all! Talk about self-sabotage?!
Who’s the Enemy?
But here’s the thing: I know that I know that anything we do for God always comes with plenty of tests, trials, and enemy opposition. And, that Satan’s biggest goal is to keep us from fulfilling our God-given purpose and calling. He does that by lying to us about our identity and value, by wearying us with mental overload, by distracting us from what’s really important, and by creating a climate of fear and discouragement.
It’s also true that we can become our own biggest enemy when we start to believe the lies, take our eyes off God and His Word, allow our minds to be filled with anxiety and doubt, and tell ourselves a story of failure that’s not even true!
Can you relate?
Vulnerability Can Be a Superpower
The truth is, it’s often the very things I help my coaching clients to work through and overcome in order to be God’s very best version of themselves, that I find myself struggling with too. Why? Because I’m normal. Well…almost! ;-)
And that’s where the magic lies. You see, as a coach, an entrepreneur, and a ministry leader, it’s not about me having it all together, waking up every day with boundless energy and motivation, having all the answers for everyone else, and being able to do it all without stumbling along the way.
It’s about having the courage to show up and be myself – vulnerability and all – for my clients, community, and of course God. It’s not about feeling confident, but about having the courage to take one small step at a time, trusting that God has already gone before me and He will be faithful to complete the good work He’s already started.
It’s also about having the courage to shine – to use my voice, my story, and all that I have learned through life experience and Godly wisdom, to encourage others to be brave enough to do the same. To step out of the shadows and into the light when all we want to do is shrink back and hide. To take the bold steps of faith when we can’t see the end result, and to trust in God’s perfect timing even when things don’t seem to be working out the way we planned.
Dealing with Self-Sabotage
As women, and Christian women especially, it can be easy to feel like we need to have it all together. We want to present ourselves as confident and capable, particularly in our work and ministry efforts. But what happens when we find ourselves struggling with feelings of self-doubt, fear, and a desire to hide from the spotlight? This is where the self-sabotaging behaviours kick in and start to paralyse us.
Self-sabotage can manifest in many different forms. It could be procrastination and avoiding tasks that require visibility or vulnerability. It could be constantly seeking out distractions to avoid facing our fears. Or it could be endlessly comparing ourself with others and engaging in the resulting self-talk that tears us down rather than building us up. Whatever the form, self-sabotage ultimately holds us back from fulfilling our calling and achieving our goals.
Maybe you’re already recognising some of these in your own life?
Confidence Isn't the Answer
One self-coaching technique that has really helped me with this over recent weeks has been shifting from confidence to courage.
In moments of self-sabotage, we may look to confidence as the solution. If only we had enough confidence, we could boldly step into the work God has called us to do. When we lack confidence, it’s easy to put things off and not take action. But the truth is that confidence is often a fleeting feeling. It can be easily shaken by setbacks or criticism. Confidence relies on our circumstances and surroundings rather than our internal strength.
This is where courage comes in. Courage is not dependent on our feelings or circumstances. It is a choice to act boldly in spite of our fears and doubts. It requires faith in God’s strength rather than our own. Choosing courage means stepping out of our comfort zones, even when it feels scary or uncomfortable.
Of course, courage isn’t always easy. It may require us to face our deepest fears and vulnerabilities. It may require us to admit our weaknesses and seek help from others. But the rewards of choosing courage can be immense. We may find that through our vulnerability, we are able to connect with others on a deeper level. We may discover new depths of strength and resilience within ourselves.
Spoiler – I Have a Coach Too!
In this season of my life, I’m grateful to have the support of a brilliant coach. Surprised? Well, don’t be. All the best athletes have a coach. All the best leaders have leaders and mentors. And as the saying goes – every coach needs a coach!
I came to realise a long time ago how invaluable it is to have someone who can hold me accountable, encourage me when I feel stuck or discouraged, remind me of who I am in God, and help me to stay on track with all that He has purposed for me to be and do. Having a coach has enabled me to accelerate my progress, grow and flourish in areas where I’ve been stagnant, and have the courage to take leaps of faith in ways that I would never have otherwise. By having someone who can help me process my thoughts, feelings and emotions at every step, I can feel empowered to keep going and stay focused on what matters most, even when it’s hard or I feel pressured by other people’s expectations.
To enable me to give my very best to my private coaching clients and those I’m called to serve, I made the choice early on to invest wisely in my own growth and development by finding a great coach to help me become God’s very best version of me. It’s been one of the best investments I’ve ever made.
Conclusion
If you’re not feeling confident to be and to do all He is calling you to, be encouraged – you’re in the very best place. Why? Because He never asked you to be confident – He asked you to be courageously obedient, and that’s a very different thing.
Courage isn’t something we find when everything looks perfect; it‘s found in every step of faith we take when we can barely muster the strength to take one more. It’s not the result of confidence, but of faith in the Lord to provide everything we need, when we need it.
The good news? He’s already given you every single thing you need to do what He’s called you to do. All you have to do is show up, take one step at a time and be brave enough to shine.
So how about it friend?
Will you let go of the need to be perfect, or confident, and instead choose courageous obedience?
Will you trust God’s plan for your life over your own?
Will you be brave enough to take those very first steps of faith and shine your light for the world to see?
Today, I invite you to join me on this courageous journey of shining your light brightly despite all the scary things we’re facing right now. And remember, you may never know who you’re inspiring or encouraging as you step out in courage, faith, and obedience!
Action Steps
What about you?
What is it that you know God has asked you to do but that for whatever reason, you’re either just not doing at all or not giving your best to?
Take a few minutes to pray and ask God for the willingness, and the courage to put one foot in front of the other. Then, take that action step you’ve been avoiding – big or small – it doesn’t matter! Take it with courage, faith and joy knowing that He will bring about good from anything we do when obey Him.
What is one simple step you can take today that will move you closer towards what God has asked of you?
What action steps do you need to take that will encourage others around you?
Let Me Help You!
If you want to be courageous and rise above self-sabotaging thoughts or behaviours, it might help to have someone like a coach or mentor walking alongside you. Someone who can remind you of your true identity in Christ when you feel overwhelmed or like you can’t go any further. Someone who will help you to build greater faith and resilience so that in the future when faced with yet another challenge, you will be equipped to rise up and live courageously in full alignment with your truest self and God’s very best for your life. If you’re not sure of the next step to take on your journey to becoming God’s very best version of you, why not contact me to book a FREE 30-minute discovery call?
Together we can explore how I can help you to:
Get clarity on the direction God is leading you
Embrace who God made you to be and live authentically from that place instead of living according to the expectations of others
Transform self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviour
Take courageous steps forward in faith and obedience in your life, business, or ministry
Rise up into your divine destiny with a heart full of passion and purpose
I offer 1:1 coaching in-person, online via Zoom, or using a fantastic ‘walk-in-talkie’ style app called Voxer where you can have real-time access to me via voice messages throughout the day at your convenience – it’s like having a coach in your pocket! :)
Oh, and if you haven’t downloaded my FREE ‘Conquering Comparison Journal Prompts’ yet, why not head over and grab this great resource now and take your first steps to breaking free from the self-sabotaging trap of constantly comparing yourself to others. You can access it HERE.
Have a blessed week!
Vicky x
